Paintings by Ethan Cranke

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I Am Strong, I Am Whole, I Am Human, I Am Alive

I'm feeling pretty emotional, seeing this massive outpouring of love and support from all of you (keeping tissues close by)! I'm at home, fully functional, and eager to rock n' roll. The Nurses and Doctors at California Pacifica Medical Center, Davies Campus, Neurology Center ICU/ICU Transition, are phenomenal, I truly owe them my life (planning on making a painting for their wing). I've seen some snake pit hospitals, and this is not one of them. They didn't care that I'm uninsured, etc., and I got top notch care and treatment. They were sincere, wonderful people, who did not talk to me in that annoying patronizing way, that some Doctors and Nurses do. I had some wonderful conversations with these folks, about my condition of course, but also about art, life, philosophy, San Francisco/Bay Area folklore, etc.; it wasn't at all a cold and sterile business (well, the hospital is kept very sterile, of course, but the personalities there are not!). Grabbing a tissue... Overwhelmed.

So far, the word of the day is Cryptogenic, meaning, they're still unsure about the origins of the clot (although they know where it ended up), but have seen things like this before, and as long as I stay on top of taking an aspirin and a glass of red wine everyday, my chances are pretty good that I won't have another stroke.

I am going to take it easy for a couple weeks. I'll definitely be painting, playing piano, etc., but I'll probably be avoiding bars, coffee shops, etc, for a little while, because I get input overload; but this too, shall pass. I plan to spend lots of time in the woods and out at the coast, drawing, writing, painting, and relaxing. Don't expect me to attend any parties, at least until mid-April! ; )

I am not sure whether or not I should tell you the story about when it happened; don't want to scare you, or make you feel uncomfortable! I'll leave it up to you. If I get a bunch of comments asking for it, I'll tell it, I don't mind; it's more for your sake that I haven't yet.

So, with an even higher value for the time I have on this planet, for the time I have with you and my family (grabbing more tissues), for my ability to still walk and talk, make art, write smooth cursive, make love, and kick ass, I am ready to move into this next chapter. I am changed(don't worry, I don't mean in terms of a personality shift), but for the better. Take nothing for granted, even the things you dislike. I am strong, I am whole, I am human, I am alive. I love you all the more.


  1. So glad to see you are on the road of recovery Ethan. I can't even imagine how scary this has been for you. Immerse yourself in soothing relaxing activities, get healthy, we will be here for you!


  2. you are taking this very serious situation bravely. thank you for sharing some of your personal thoughts and keeping us informed for your progress. so happy that you received the best of care. i am certain this is life changing...and it will be in a good way. xx

  3. @Lee Yes, I am extremely grateful. Regarding bravery: the way I see it, I can either let the fear ruin and control me, putting me in a place of defeat and stasis, or I can embrace the energy that it provides, and transform it into vigor. Mark my words, I will suck on the marrow of this life with the greatest of appetites, until the bone is completely dry.
    @TJAY My pleasure. Thank you for reading and for commenting, and most of all for feeling.